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Initialize

by cyntrix

/
1.
Actualize 01:38
Everyday I actualize another person’s journey Doin this is probably how I’ll end up on the gurney Goin till my vision gets a little bit blurry They’re poison in my tooth I spit ‘em out like I’m Kirby Fuel past empty, naw, there’s not enough steam Let the time pass by, dissolution of my dream Catch me in the trap, I’m just living in the scheme Watch my life slip away gently down the stream Everyday I actualize my own anxiety they like the Way I get through the discomfort oh so quietly Dissociating til it’s time to evade my sobriety so I can Finally distort the signal draining my energy What the fuck, no, I didn’t ask for this, my life’s Trajectory’s a loss, just a swing and a miss You know what they say, ignorance is bliss Back to the days before the sonder hit I reminisce
2.
Sustain 02:34
Sunk in the river I’m a bit depth swimmer Void so loud it’s a waveform clipper Perseverance flickers run it through the maximizer Driver pushing hard, my intention emitter Commotion hits the filter, chatter just a bunch of filler Trouble on the mind something constant to consider Activate the buffer when the echo reconfigures Ready to sustain forever finger on the trigger Sleight of the hand, it’s all part of the plan Frozen like you thought you wouldn’t show up on the scan Present the deception just to play into my hand I advise the only confidant under your command Sunk in the river I’m a bit depth swimmer Void so loud it’s a waveform clipper Tenacity flickers run it through the maximizer Driver pushing hard, my intention emitter
3.
How much affliction can I harbor Sanctuary has never been farther Wrote the finale like I’m a fucking martyr Forgot the code did they just tell me to think harder Can’t decide which strategy is smarter Brush off all their the blows just because I got the armor Circumvent commitment cause my mana bar is larger Disregard relationships they call me the discarder All the doubt that they told me to conceal Just corrupts all desire that I feel To meet stability I’m told is the ideal I guess to them my lucid dreams are too surreal You don’t understand let me grab a dictionary Determination they don’t deem it necessary Contentment peace of mind it just seems so arbitrary Suggest to sit in silence and now you’re a visionary Fell through the floor again Still descending, I’m spinning I see all the wires down here Plugged in and so restricting All this time I saw my visions modulate In relation to your love that oscillates Between all the risks and the curse I contemplate Haunted by the words the ghosts articulate I won’t let the river’s current stagnate Endurance and persistence are the tools I calibrate To prepare for when the echo detonates Below the position of dreams I triangulate There’s a tough just in reach Nothing left, nothing’s with me I felt chills when I let go Caught by cables overlapping How much affliction can I harbor Sanctuary has never been farther Wrote the finale like I’m a fucking martyr Forgot the route to the ship i’m tryna charter Can’t decide which strategy is smarter Brush off all their the blows just because I got the armor Circumvent commitment cause my mana bar is larger Disregard relationships they call me the discarder
4.
Bearing 02:28
Cycle of the dread, rotation of my bearings File corrupted, system repairing Vibration of the past, indicator blaring Conclusion of the pattern, there’s no preparing Peer beyond the edge of time if you’re daring Cross the bounds of the line, perimeter tearing Form the will of the world, ultimate forbearing Avert dissolution, eternal despairing
5.
Subsist 02:35
See my robot on the route, I’m a proper operator Swap the plot that you crave, I’m a fine manipulator Solve the line when they swerve, I’m a cycle speculator Watch me script what they wish, I’m a sigil generator Disconnect so I don’t think, recognition simulator Deconstruct my peace of mind , apprehension resonator Disengaging my support, invocation oscillator All the scans don’t know my name, I’m the covert orchestrator Watch me drift through this life, autopilot navigator Fly beneath the words I form, cerebral aviator I’m a magnet for the curse, i’m the dread accumulator I continue to subsist, reluctant infiltrator Power in the kick, heart accelerator Solid in the mix, sound disseminator Short in the chord, null communicator Never heard before, noise originator Troubleshoot the reason, mind defibrillator Exorcize the demon, malicious detonator Confirm the odds are beaten, chaotic terminator Destroy the worlds I’m dreamin’, self exterminator See my robot on the route; I’m a proper operator Swap the plot that you crave; I’m a fine manipulator Solve the line when they swerve; I’m a cycle speculator Watch me script what they wish; I’m a sigil generator
6.
Coda 03:45
Emergency it’s too late The reality I create Is distorted by thoughts I sedate Can’t rewind to avoid this fate Separate is my reflection Refusal in my expression Redirecting the connection Intention pilots direction Looking into my infection Cleanse the wound begin dissection Barrier to learn my lesson Extract the noise and overcome the question Can’t rewind to avoid this fate The reality I create Will take longer than I can wait To culminate before it’s too late Afterthought like I’m living in a coda A fraction of a second and now they think they know ya So far off they see me walking on Europa Their delusion is all that they can show ya The pull of the current is growing The strength of the stream that I’m rowing Reminds that there’s no use in knowing Which way that the river is flowing

about

I've always struggled to write lyrics and perform vocals. I'm excited to be able to overcome this mental block.

credits

released February 28, 2023

music and lyrics by Richard Stottman

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about

cyntrix Louisville, Kentucky

existential dread music

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